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Years ago when my three children were aged 6, 9, and 12, I became pregnant with my fourth child. She was a bit of an oops baby. We were just beginning the stage of semi-having our lives back, since our three children were more or less self-sufficient, when here I was pregnant with a fourth child. Once our dear little girl was born, we were back to diapers, sleepless nights, numerous doctors’ appointments….a total upheaval of life. I remember one evening visiting our friends whose children were practically all grown and out of the house. We were having a lovely dinner until our little wonder began crying uncontrollably to the point where we had to leave the wonderful company of two adults for whose lives we yearned. As we were leaving, my girlfriend said, “this too shall pass”.

Those four little words came back to me the other day while I was taking a lone walk through the park in order to sweep away cabin fever. After all, we had been quarantined for a couple of weeks due to a coronavirus scare in our household even before the governor of our state declared a “stay at home” directive. While I was walking I noticed a notebook opened to a page on the path I was taking. It read “this too shall pass”. I didn’t dare lift it up for fear of contracting the disease through paper transmission, I’m not sure that is possible though, so I left it there for others to see and ponder.

My wish for everyone is to see the notebook on their contemplative walks and realize that yes, this too shall pass. There have been times, usually in the middle of the night when my mind wanders, when one thinks of the most bizarre things, mostly of all the egregious influences this virus could have on our lives….to the point where I am in a bit of a panic attack! But after seeing and remembering those four little words, I realize that yes, one way or another this too shall pass. We, (I), have to remember to keep the faith, follow the rules, be smart, listen to factual news, (but not too much!), and use good common sense and we will be alright….just like all those diaper changes and zombie days from sleepless nights passed years ago.

So for now dear friends, please stay safe, keep in touch with loved ones, find a new hobby, enjoy your time at home and remember this too shall pass.

Keep well!!

Just when you think you have life worked out, it throws you a curve or maybe even a 180. That’s the way I’ve been feeling this summer. I know it’s been forever since I’ve expressed myself, but honestly, I wasn’t in the “head-space” to write. My daughter and her fiancee had been busily preparing for their wedding, but out of the blue (at least for me) they decided to postpone and now, call it off. I truly understand where my daughter is coming from and I want what is best for her and her fiancee. Afterall, I love them both but it’s extremely difficult to watch their hurt and sadness. As a mom, you carry and feel all the hopes, fears, disappointments, and joys of your children. All children have trials and tribulations growing up. They get upset over their best friend dumping them for someone else or are devestated when they break their foot and ankle the summer before their junior year when they’re pegged to be the best runner for their high school cross country team. They eventually (and some times much quicker than one would think) move on from these  “catastrophes”,  but it lingers for moms. It isn’t as easy for us to just  change course with our emotions. So even though THEY try to and do move on, we are still feeling the brunt of sadness, emptiness and loss. This was supposed to be a summer of fun and joyful anticipation. I thought the day my daughter collected her wedding gown would be a day full of hope, anticipation, and out and out fun. Instead though, I found myself ridden with sorrow. However, I do feel some consolation when my daughter reassures me she is doing the right thing for both of them.

So here I am, stuck in this pergatory, happy in one respect that at least they didn’t wait until after they were married to realize something was amiss, but quite distraught because of the loss of a family and life that will never happen. Life does move on, so I need to pick myself up and find a different direction that will bring me happiness and contentment. I joined a gym and have been swimming at the pool, running and walking on the treadmill, and taking up yoga classes. I have also incorporated meditation into my day and read affirmations every morning. I took a course that allowed me to be certified as a stager and have opened my own business and have also been thinking outside the box for other alternatives. Actually an opportunity fell into my lap this spring; one which could come to fruition this fall. I am following up on that.

They say things happen for a reason. I am desperately trying to find a silver lining and I’m sure it will appear sooner or later. So for now, @#*& happens! Deal with it!!