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Frustration-A Lesson in Perseverance

ninamariesabina

Have you ever worked on something for years to no avail? I have. I’m trying not to become frustrated, but it’s difficult.

A few years ago right before Covid, I decided it would be fun to begin a blog on gardening. I had never blogged before and did not know how to create a blogging website. But after perusing the net, I joined a particular platform (which shall not be named) and took baby steps to create a gardening site.

I have to admit, it was a lot of fun; frustrating at times, but fun. It kept my mind engaged which is important to me. I have been retired from teaching since 2017 and am concerned about a deteriorating mind as I age. This, I thought, would keep me sharp.

I thoroughly enjoyed learning the ins and outs of web design and was extremely excited to create meaningful posts that gardeners would enjoy reading.

In addition to sharing information with others, I was hoping to earn a little passive income. Unfortunately, that has not happened. However I get a real sense of accomplishment after I post an article that educates others on how they can garden using sustainable methods which ultimately improves the health of our earth.

Jump forward to 2023 and I am still blogging.

Through the years I changed the theme numerous times and even hired a couple of people to help me make it appear more professional .

During my journey many questioned why I was still blogging as a gardener, especially since I was not creating much of an income. It made me think about giving up but not for long. If I had listened to them and just stopped, I know I would really be disappointed in myself. For every negative comment said to me, there was this little guardian angel telling me to just keep going.

Which I have.

After evaluating my successes and failures in this endeavor, I have decided to take a different avenue. In addition to continue blogging, I have created a service section which enables me to engage with my readers and instruct them on actually starting a garden.

After an initial consultation, I compile a plan that explains exactly what to do to create a beautiful garden in their yard. Included in this plan is a comprehensive list of what to purchase given their particular geographic needs, explanations on how to create the initial garden and how to plant each item, and information on how to maintain the garden. I also give them an actual diagram to scale of their yard showing where to plant the items.

I have had a couple of clients since I began this new venture, however it has not been easy to market this profile. Frustration.

Yes, I am frustrated, again. However I have learned that the endgame is not always what you think. I have learned sooo much from family and friends who have helped me not only with how to present the information through Word, but how to market this service and my blog.

So I guess what I’m saying is that yes, you will be frustrated in whatever you pursue, but the journey holds more of a learning experience than the actual final event. Embrace your frustrations, learn from them, and as Dorie from Finding Nemo said, “just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!” You never know where you’ll end up!

Here is a testimonial of my service:

I am very pleased with the landscaping design that Nina put together for my yard. I’ve always wanted to create a pollinator garden, but didn’t know where to start and what plants would survive the hungry rabbits we have in our area. We had an initial call during which Nina asked a series of questions to fully understand my current landscaping design and what I would like the final design to look like. Nina then promptly put together a comprehensive, custom landscaping design including a set of visual plans, detailed instructions on transplanting existing plants and caring for new ones, and a handy ‘shopping list’ of suggested plants to purchase. I now feel like I have the tools I need to implement the landscaping plan I’ve always wanted but was unable to develop on my own. I would highly recommend Nina and her services!

If you’re interested in checking out my gardening website, click Best Gardening for Beginners.

The Beauty of Plants

ninamariesabina

I recently heard an interview with Beronda Montgomery on “Lessons From Plants”.

“Beronda Montgomery is a writer, science communicator and Michigan State University Foundation Professor in the Departments of Biochemistry and Molecular Biology and of Microbiology & Molecular Genetics.” Source: Wikipedia

She discussed the why and how we could learn a lot from raising plants in our homes and outside gardens. This past year has taken a toll on all of us, be it from isolation, the loss of a loved one, a change of lifestle, confrontations with friends regarding politics, vaccines, Black Lives Matter and so many other topics. It has certainly been challenging, not only physically but mentally.

Each one of us has had to cope with tragedies and “life” in such a variety of ways. I know personally how the isolation took a toll on me and my family.

But now that more and more people are becoming vaccinated, things seem to be loosening up and I’m feeling a bit of relief and experiencing some breathing space. However, not all is back to normal and quite frankly, I don’t think we should return to what was normal. We had learned a lot these past months and I sincerely hope our short-term memory doesn’t forget all the good that has resulted from the recent trials and tribulations.

Here is where Beronda Montgomery comes in. During the interview she said many people found solace in raising plants. She believes, as do I, that all humans need to be with natural organisms. Actively interacting with life creates a healthy lifestyle and helps us become better humans.

Plants teach us about the process of life, how it begins, how it is nourished, how it thrives, and finally how it succombs to death. By raising plants, humans learn patience. We also learn how plants benefit from each other. They become more sustainable when grouped together because they share humidity and release chemicals that naturally deter pests, thus helping each other grow.

There has been some scientific proof that plants actually talk to one another. Plants use their roots to listen in on their neighbors and will secrete chemicals in the ground that will promote growth to adjacent plants to help them emerge from the shade and thrive in the sunlight. The plants alter their growth patterns by “talking” to one another.

Through companion planting, they also help each other. Plants add different nutrients and moisture to the ground which benefits themselves and their neighbors and encourages growth.

Plants are also constantly reaching for the sun. That could be a good metaphor for humans: without the sun all species will die. By reaching for the sun we will also continue to thrive and better ourselves.

Beronda Montgomery went on to explain how Native Americans use a polyculture technique for growing crops. They relized that different varieties of plants need each other to survive and thrive. Instead of growing all the same crop over massive fields, such as corn where all the stalks are competing for the same nutrients, it’s better to create biodiversity. By planting different varieties of plants in the same area, the plants will do better because they won’t be battling for the same nutrients. Taller plants will provide shade for the shorter plants that don’t require as much sun and some plants inhibit pests that harm others. That is why Native Americans planted corn, beans and squash together.

This polyculture directly relates to the human race. It’s much better to create an environment where all people are not competing for the same “nutrients” and where each will benefit from each other.

Monocultures are not healthy or sustainable. Inevitably we all will begin to travel and spread our wings. We love to explore and experience new things.

Some people want to return to “the good old days” where the French lived in France, the Italians lived in Italy, the Irish lived in Ireland. Those days are long gone, my friend. Look at the United States! With the exception of Native Americans our country was built by immigrants from all areas of the globe. That’s why America is called the melting pot. To live in harmony with each other, it’s imperative that we recognize the contributions we all can make and learn to benefit from each others’ gifts and talents.

We need to take a page from our plants. They naturally know how to benefit from each other’s attributes. Now we humans, who are supposed to be so superior, need to learn a thing or two from the plants we cultivate through, among other things, using patience and empathy. (I admit I was sad when a plant of mine died!)

Yes, Beronda Montgomery has it right. We can learn an awful lot by adapting the life processes of plants to our life experience.

To purhase her book, Lessons from Plants, click on the title and it will take you to Amazon to review the book.

For more information on gardening, visit my website Best Gardening For Beginners.

https://bestgardeningforbeginners.com/

(Some of the links within this post are affiliate links on which I receive a small compensation from the sale of certain items.)

Black History Month; What We Need To Contemplate and Learn From… NOW

ninamariesabina

Andy Kim is my congressman. I am very proud of him and his accomplishments. I share the sentiment contained in the following statement from him.

February 1, 2021 Press Release

Congressman Kim Statement on Black History Month

WASHINGTON, DC – Today, Congressman Andy Kim (NJ-03) released the following statement celebrating the beginning of Black History Month

“New Jersey plays a significant role in shaping Black History. From its stops on the Underground Railroad to its proud sons and daughters, we have much to celebrate as we seek to expand justice and equality for all.

However, Black History Month isn’t just a time of celebration, it’s also a time for deep reflection. While we should celebrate the incredible contributions of Black Americans across our country and history, we should pause to reflect on the inequities faced by our neighbors even to this day. While those two actions may feel contradictory, they’re intrinsically linked. We cannot honor Black achievement without seeking to fully understand the Black experience; an experience that many of us have and will never endure. It’s important that we recognize the extra lengths Black Americans must go to achieve the same as so many other Americans. And we must dedicate ourselves breaking down those barriers and destroying the burdens that create those very conditions.”

Growing up in a multi-cultural school district I was exposed to various ethnicities and races. As far as I can remember we all seemed to blend well together. But when the riots of the 1960s and 70s occurred many people took sides. I remember being quite taken aback when an African American friend suddenly was less congenial and amiable than before. We did eventually return to “normal” but I think my naivete made me believe everything was fine.

Now some 40 years later, I realize I was quite blind to the plights of individuals, and in particular what they had to endure throughout their lifetimes. I credit my new “2020” acuity to many things. 2020 has been described as the worst, most horrible year in recent history due to the effects of COVID-19, the senseless killings of people of color, and the deepening divisions within our country. However, I feel this past year has also been a significant learning opportunity for all of us. I would not have the improved visual and mental clarity I have today if not for all the heartbreaking loss of life from both the excessive use of force and the pandemic, the lost livlihoods, the extreme income inequality and the erosion of core American values and institutions .

I am now more sensitive to and more empathetic toward people and how they are perceived and treated. It never occured to me that we had so many closet bigots in this country and frankly, I don’t understand why that is. In the end we all want the same thing; happiness and good health for ourselves and loved ones, prosperity for our families, and to be looked upon with dignity. So why not contemplate that before being judgemental?

Why can’t we all think before we speak and act, and try to walk in each others’ shoes? I truly believe that unless you experience what others are experiencing, you have no idea what they are going through and you cannot and should not make flash judgements because of the color of their skin, or what they wear, or how they worship.

So I return to Andy Kim’s words who so eloquently said….”It’s important that we recognize the extra lengths Black Americans must go to achieve the same as so many other Americans. And we must dedicate ourselves to breaking down those barriers and destroying the burdens that create those very conditions.”

This should apply to all people of color.

SNOW

ninamariesabina

When I was a child I lived in the country where our home and property of 3 acres backed up to a forrest and beyond that a large farm. I remember leaving home after breakfast and not returning until suppertime. I had so many adventures from sloshing through creeks where my boots would be pulled into the deep mud like quicksand, to stealing pears from the farmers’ trees and running home after tearing my pants on a barbed wire fence with a farmer in hot pursuit. One vivid memory is when my aunt from Miami came to stay for awhile and we explored the woods. We started gathering wild berries and having a grand old time when a thunderstorm exploded, and we quickly ran home drenched with rain from head to toe. My Aunt Betty and I were laughing hysterically from all the excitement but our joy soon withered when we were reprimanded by my mom after leaving muddy puddles on her freshly cleaned kitchen floor.

Some of my most memorable times, though, were when we had snow, and it seems to me it was more frequent back then and with larger acculumlations……although I was much shorter when I was a child! We did not grow up with the weather channel or radar so when snow came it was usually a welcome surprise. Also, because of the lack of technology we never knew when it would end, so life during a big snowstorm was glorious with an element of mystery.

With the help from my mom we would become little michelin men and women unable to fall or get hurt because of all the layers of clothing with which she would adorn us. She’d happily send us out into the tundra for an all day excursion of sledding, ice skating, making snow angels and snowmen. We had a quasi-sled called a snurfer. It took much balance and agility to ride for we had to stand up toe to heel on the board. I was never as capable gliding on the sled as my brother and sister, but it was so much fun.

The snow was beautiful. Because we lived in such an open area, we had breathtaking vistas of fields and woods covered with stunning white crystals. The erie sound of the wind through the pine needles mesmerized me into a deep feeling of contentment. I so enjoyed just laying in the snow and taking in the hypnotizing sounds and sights of nature.

Now that I am a mother of four adult children, I still feel the wonder and awe of a major snow storm. Although radar has removed some of it’s mystique, it still is wonderful to behold. I now live in a small town without the expansive vistas. Instead, I admire beautiful old buildings covered in white with candles lit in the windows welcoming people back home after shoveling off their sidewalks. At my birdfeeder, I watch the brilliantly colored blue jays and cardinals against the backdrop of a white canvass as they hungrily eat their fill. I always enjoy listening to the crackling of the wood-burning fire in my living room while sipping either a Mexican hot chocolate or a glass of wine.

I’m looking forward to the stillness of the night when I venture out for a walk in the fresh powder. I guess I am still a child at heart. I will always love the anticipation of a snow storm and all of it’s wonder.

          Empty nesting?????……NOT!!

          ninamariesabina

          They say “God laughs at plans”. How true! Here I thought I was beginning a new life….”crossing over” if you will…..but just when you think all is in alignment ie. retiring, down-sizing, moving to a small town in which you had never lived, children moving on with their careers; things change. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a change for the worse, just different.

          Having reared four wonderful children I thought my husband and I were on a new trajectory such as traveling and doing things WE wanted to do without considering whether or not the kids would enjoy it. But along came the second wave of responsibility when young children turn into adults. In retrospect, the first wave was much easier and more controllable. A friend of mine always disliked the winter because along with the cold came shorter daylight hours; hence, the children in the house for a longer period of time. However, I explained to her that I loved that time. That was when we could all hunker down for a long cold winter, we would reconnect and have family dinners at a reasonable hour and the kids would be in bed on time because of school the next day. In other words, I had control. Life was good!……usually.

          The second wave of responsibility happens when your children come back home to live with you for awhile. It could be for many reasons, perhaps lack of work, paying off school loans, returning from college, or now-a-days, COVID. Not only do THEY come back but all their things also return including pets and furniture. So much for purging when you down-sized with all those good intentions of only taking things you really needed to the new home. Now the house is filled with so much “stuff” that my feng shui is in a twist!

          In addition to all the extra bodies and items, you are now dealing with significant issues such as living with adults having their own thoughts, needs, and desires. One has to be cognizant of this and realize they are independent individuals, therefore, you no longer have the control you once did. It is a very complicated, tentative, and disconcerting situation. I’m finding you must have mutual respect and good communication skills for it to work. People get settled into their own routines that they find very comforting and especially now with COVID, routines are key to normalcy. Therefore, it can be difficult when you now have a houseful of people whose routines don’t always jibe.

          In the end, though, one does find comfort knowing that you raised your children in such a way that they are comfortable coming back home and do not feel awkward asking permission to do so. It’s nice to know that our relationships have stood the test of time. So much for empty-nesting…….actually given the current cirumstances I wouldn’t have it any other way!